The Letters: Tori
by PuppiesWearingSunglasses
Summary: With the news of Tori Vega's death comes the answers to why she committed suicide. In the letters in which she wrote for her closest friends and family, Tori reveals how each of them played a part in her death. How will people feel about the truth? *WARNING* May be Triggering. Includes self-harm and other upsetting circumstances.
1. Breaking point: Part one

Monsters are real. and Ghosts are real too. They live inside of us. And sometimes they win. Sometimes it just isn't worth it; life isn't worth it. It's not worth all the pain and hurt you have to face on a daily basis. Sometimes you just have enough. You just give up on everything. You give up on life. You feel pain all the time. You just want it to end - you want the pain to stop. You don't necessarily want to die; you just want to stop the pain. You want to stop living in what feels like hell. Hurting people - you don't want to do that. Hurting the people you love and who love you is not something you want to intentionally do but it doesn't stop you. Inall truthfulness, you don't believe that anyone will miss you when you're gone. Suicide - it's the only way out. It's a one way ticket to freedom.

Even though you want to stop the pain so many people will miss you - you just don't realise it. People never realise what they have until it's gone. It's funny when you're dead how people start listening. It's all true though; so many people will miss you. People you wouldn't even realise care. You're parents may not be the best and your friends may not be perfect but no one's perfect. People will miss you but it doesn't stop you. It won't stop me. I have to do this - not just for myself but for them too. Once I'm gone they'll all be able to start to enjoy life more and not have to worry or put up with me. I just want the pain to stop and suicide... well, suicide is the only way out. If I don't go through with this now then I never will. I can't back out - I won't back out. I lay down on my bed and think about how awful my day has been. I think of all the times I've been let down by the people I love and the times that I've let them down. I think about all the times I've disappointed them in some way or upset them - just like that time I kissed Danny while he was dating Cat. I remember how horrible I felt and I just feel sick to my stomach. I get up off my bed and pace. I remember all the names I've been called and all the bad grades I've got. I remember all the times I've not only let myself down but other people do.

My mind is swarmed with negative thoughts. I have to get out of here while I've got the chance...

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**A:N- Hey guys. This is just a quick update. I have an idea of a story in which I am going to do different versions for each Tori, Jade and Cat. I wrote this because I feel like ya'll deserve an update and I want to see what you guys think about this. I want to know if you think I should carry on or just delete this and start a different multi-chapter. I'm working on the next chapter of 'A Happy Mistake' and it should be uploaded by next weekend. I'm also in the process of writing more one-shots for 'Jori Collection'. I have loads of ideas for multi-chaps but I wanted to try this one. Let me know if you like it or not and what you think by reviewing or PMing me. Thanks :) **


	2. Breaking Point: part two

**I have absolutely nothing to say except sorry for the late update. I've been slacking lately but school's almost over and I'll have six weeks to write whenever I want. Anyway, on with the story...**

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I get up off my bed and grab the bottle of pills off the side as well as the letters. I place the letters on my bed in plain view so whoever finds me will see them straight away. I open the bottle of sleeping pills and empty the bottle into my hand. 20 pills. 20 pills is all I have. I sit there; my mind racing with thoughts - and stare at the pills. These small things will be the thing that will give me life - well a lack of life anyway. I take a deep breath, put the pills in my mouth one at a time and swallow. _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. _I sit there, my eyes wide, staring at the wall. That's when it hits me. I'm going to die. Everything I've ever worked for in life is vanishing. Everything I've ever done will have no meaning. My whole life will be pointless and worthless. My eyes start to get heavy so I lay down on the floor.

Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have done this. I don't want to die. I don't want this. I just want the pain to stop. I need help. I don't want this. I start screaming for my Mom. I want her here to hold me. I want my Mom to comfort me and to tell me everything will be okay. I want her to pull me close to her and for her to kiss me on my head while comforting me. I want her to comfort me like she did when I was a little girl. I want my Mom to help me. I want her to save me. I want someone to save me. I want someone to come in here and to help me. I don't want to die - I want to live. This was all a mistake. I scream as loud as I can but no-one can hear me and I know no-one ever will. I'm dying and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't take this back and now I'm going to die.

My eyes are so heavy I can barely keep them open. I lay there still. I'm cold and scared. I just wish someone would help me. I feel myself begin to drift away. My eyes begin to flutter close and no matter how hard I try to keep them open I can't. They're so heavy it's impossible to stay awake. I just need to sleep. I need to sleep so bad right now. I can't sleep though. If I sleep then I'll never wake up. I need help. I need someone to help me but that won't happen. This is real life and real life is hard and cruel. Life is a bitch and now I'm going to die. I'm going to die scared, alone and cold. My eyes are so heavy along with the rest of my body. My head falls to the side and I glance at the door one more time before closing my eyes. Just as my eyes drop closed I see a flash of light and I swear my bedroom door just opened. I want to scream and get whoever it is to help me but I can't. I can't move anything. I can't feel any of my body. It's so dark and my whole body is stiff. My minds blank and I can feel myself falling.


	3. Finding out

**A/N: Okay, I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to type but I feel like you guys deserve a update because I haven't updated in so long. Also I know that my friend really wants to know what happens because she keeps bugging me about it. "You don't scare me... okay maybe you do but here, I'm updating, see...). So after a long wait here it is:) Enjoy - or not - and tell me that you think. **

**Jade**

"Where is she?." I turned round 180 degrees to see a frantic Trina along with her parents.

"Where's my baby girl?" Mr Vega asked, tears streaming down his face while he held his wife close.

"They're..." Jade started to say before clearing her throat and staring again. "They're pumping her stomach."

"What happened?" Trina asked. My heart felt like it crumbling into tiny little pieces just at the thought of what had happened. She had tried to kill herself. She had decided that life just wasn't worth it and she decided to give up. She decided to end it all and no one knew how she felt. No one had any idea that popular and perky Tori Vega ever felt like that. She must have been a better actress than any of us ever gave her credit for.

"I found her. She was just lying on the floor in her room. She looked so still and... lifeless. I didn't know what was wrong until I noticed the empty bottle of pills next to her and I called the ambulance but she... she wouldn't wake up. I kept shaking her but she wouldn't wake up" Jade choked back a sob.

"Is she going to be okay?" Mrs Vega asked, clutching her husband tight.

"I don't know" Jade breathed. "The doctor said that he would let me know how she is once they've pumped her stomach"

"Can we see her?" Trina asked.

"No" Jade replied bluntly while shaking her head. A pregnant silence filled the waiting room. The only sound that could be heard we're quite sobs from the Vegas. Mr and Mrs Vega sat on the opposite side of the room - both had tear covered cheeks and were clutching each other. Trina, who sat next to her Dad, was staring intently at her nails in her lap. In the very corner of the waiting room sat Jade. Clutching her phone she cleared her throat and stood up. "Can - Can I call the others?" Jade asked warily. Mrs Vega hid her face in her husbands chest as he nodded. Jade opened the door to the waiting room and stepped outside into the brightly lit corridor. The second the door shut behind her she let out the breath she had been holding. Even though her hands we're shaking she managed to click on Beck's number and held the phone to her ear. The phone rang about three times before Beck answered.

_"Hey, you want picking up?" _"B-Beck" Jade choked out. _"What's wrong?" _" It's Tori. She's... she's in the hospital" _"What happened?"_ Beck asked while grabbing his jacket and keys and rushing out the RV door. "She tried to kill herself" _"Oh my gosh, I'm on my way" _"Can you pick up the others?" _"Of course. Just stay there and don't move" _Beck begged while starting up his car. "O-okay" Jade stuttered before ending the call and dropping her phone in her bag. She stood there watching nurses walk by seemingly unaware of her presence. The door behind her opened and a hand landed on her shoulder. Jade turned around to see Trina standing with her back against the door.

"Hey" Trina whispered.

"Hi" Jade mumbled back.

"Thanks"

"For what?"

"For saving Tori"

"I didn't save her"

"Yeah you did. Yeah, she still might not make it but if you didn't get there when you did and got her help then she would be dead right now. You may have saved her life Jade"

"Erm, I found something when I was in Tori's room" Jade stated.

"What?" Trina asked. Jade opened her bag and pulled out 8 envelopes, each with an individual name written on it.

"Here" Jade said, handing the unopened letters to Trina. The half-Latina shuffled through them taking in each name which was carefully written on each plain white envelope. **Mom. Dad. Trina. Jade. Beck. Cat. Andre. Robbie. **

"Maybe you should take these" Trina said, handing back 5 of the unopened envelopes.

"Why?" Jade asked, shuffling through the remaining envelopes. **Jade. Beck. Cat. Andre. Robbie. **

"There's one for you and then one for each of the others. Make sure they get them?"

"Sure." Trina smiled sincerely. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off when she heard Beck. Both girls turned their heads to see where all the commotion was coming from.

"Jade." Beck breathed heavily as he wrapped his arm round Jade's waist. The young pale skinned girl looked around.

"Where're the others?" She mumbled into his neck.

"They we're right behind me"

"Did you run?"

"...Maybe" Beck mumbled. Jade let out a dry laugh before pulling away from her boyfriend while keeping a firm hold of his shirt by his chest. "How are you?" He asked sincerely.

"I'm fine" Jade replied. Before either of the young couple could speak another word they were interrupted by a shrill voice.

"Jadey." It wouldn't take a genius to work out who said that. Next thing the group of teenagers knew, Jade lost her grip on Becks shirt and Becks body was replaced by Cats. Jades body was surrounded by Cats arms. At that precise moment something that no one would have expected happened. Jade wrapped her arms around the petite red-heads body, returning her hug. The two girls stood there with tears running down their faces. Jades hard façade was slipping and she really didn't care.

"Where's Tori?" Andre asked causing Jade to let go of her young friend.

"I don't know. They're pumping her stomach and they won't let any of us see her - not even Trina or her parents" Jade explained.

"She's going to be okay, right?" Cat asked hopefully. Jade looked at Cat who had her lips pouted and her arms wrapped around Robbies torso.

"I..I..." Jade looked at the floor before shifting her eyes to her friends. Each teenagers had tear-streaked cheeks and hopeful looks on their faces. "I don't know kitten. The doctors said that she's in bad shape and that they won't know if she's going to be okay until they've pumped her stomach. They said that she might not make it through the night." None of them knew what to say. What are you meant to say about new like that. They just all hoped that she'd make it through the night and would be okay.

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**A/N: I had no idea how to end this and I don't like how I ended it but I didn't want to make this chapter too long. Also, I was wondering if any of you have read my story 'A Happy Mistake' and whether you want me to finish it or not? I have some idea but I'm thinking of editing it maybe and changing it slightly. What do you guys think?**


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